There’s quite a lot of New Testament Christianity that seems to have gone missing nowadays. At least it would seem that way if you have spent any time on social media. Or even tried to disagree with someone who has spent any time on social media. At the beginning of Romans 14 Paul talks about ‘accepting…without passing judgement on disputable matters’ (Rom 14:1).

Three issues raised in just 7 words. Acceptance. Withholding judgement (or at the very least your opinion). And disputable matters. I reckon many Christians are going 0 for 3.

Let’s start with the last one, disputable matters, which provides the context for the first two. It’s worth acknowledging that Paul says there are things that are up for grabs, open to argument, disputable and debatable. In our current moment there are groups falling into the ditch on the left and right of this one.

For one group, (deconstructionists, revisionists, liberals) everything has become disputable. Certainty is defied, clear positions muddied, there are more than two sides to every issue and they’re all legitimate.

In the other ditch are those for whom nothing is disputable. Any and all nuance is a sign of someone slipping down a slippery slope all the way to hell. Agreement must be total and by God will we let you know it if it’s not.

Of course the truth is that true holders of either of those positions are fewer than we think. The real trouble is that there is no consensus or agreement on what is disputable and what is not. This fundamental disagreement over the nature of an issue leads to failures or accusation of failing in love.

The obvious test case is sexual ethics, pick your issue it doesn’t really matter. One side says, ‘This is disputable, we should agree to disagree’. They are asking for acceptance and the withholding of judgement, precisely as Paul advises. The other side says, ‘This is not disputable and we cannot simply agree to disagree.’ To which they are then, accused of being both intolerant (not accepting) and judgemental.

It’s worth noting that an issue does not immediately become a disputable matter simply because someone has disputed it. There will be people on every issue who will find fault. No Christian should agree to the resurrection of Jesus becoming a disputable matter simply because someone, somewhere finds it hard to believe.

This is why, on almost any given debate, it is worth doing the groundwork of why you assign the importance to this matter that you do. Why is this issue a first, second or third order issue for you. Show your working when you do theological triage as it has become known. What kind of issue is this?

Yet, when there is agreement that an issue is debatable, we still fail at the other two points. Firstly, there are an awful lot of issues to which we need to heed Paul’s words in Romans 14:22.

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.

There are so many times when I have avoided just getting into an argument or simply ‘made my point’ online because you know what? This might be something I should just keep my mouth shut on. We LOVE to pass judgement. We rank, score, rate, review, judge everything and everyone. Every word, every choice, every item, every sermon. Every song, every tweet, every post. Anything and everything becomes fair game to be judged. We look down on way too many brothers and sisters.

And so we struggle to accept. Then it becomes hard to love, to maintain unity and build our neighbour up which is what Paul calls us to do.