It seems to be a generally accepted notion that comparing yourself to others is a bad idea. It’s a notoriously tricky notion that leads to either self-pride or self-condemnation neither of which is good. Yet in John 21:15 Jesus seems to be asking Peter to do just that. He says to Peter, “Do you love me more than these?”

There are a couple of other options to consider first and they are also useful. Jesus could be asking whether Peter loves Jesus more than Peter loves the other disciples. In this case, these = disciples. There’s only crucified & resurrected Messiah, Son of God in this story, and Peter knows who that is. I don’t think that either Jesus or Peter thinks that’s the case.

It’s possible that Jesus is referring to the boats and the large catch of fish. Jesus could be asking whether Peter loves Jesus more than work, business and some financial success. In this case, these = earthly work. Given that Peter had already left all this once for Jesus (Mk 10:28), this seems unlikely.

Still both those questions are good and important questions. Do we love Jesus more than we love friends, family & fields? Fields being a shorthand for work & income. That is exactly the kind of question Jesus loved to ask (Mk 10:29-31). And he expects his disciples to answer in the affirmative.

The third possibility is that Jesus is asking Peter, ‘Do you love me more than the other disciples love me?’ How is Peter to answer that?

Is Peter to try & compare love? How do you do that? What’s the right answer here? Peter could say, ‘No’, but that’s a really hard thing to say. Especially when the one you’re saying it is your Rabbi who has just been raised from the dead. But if Peter says, ‘Yes’ then isn’t he just repeating the disastrous mistake he had just so recently made?

Peter had famously declared his loyalty to be greater than that of the others (Mark 14:29-31). In environments of performance worship and social media, we can be prone to overconfident declarations of love to our Saviour. Real life can quickly show us up as imposters.

Jesus is a master of asking questions to which both yes and no would seem to be the wrong answer. He puts people in a bind and really makes them think. Peter is caught like a fish in his net.

I think Peter does the only possible thing and tries to find a third option and a way out. ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ It’s a ‘yes, but.’

Jesus continues to probe Peter, and that’s good for Peter. And it’s good for us too. We shouldn’t think that Jesus wouldn’t test, probe and get us to think about what we’re saying when we say to Him, ‘I love you’. Peter, it seems, had learned his lesson, and was taking a step back from confident and untested assertions. He had been tested and failed. We would be wise to say to Jesus, ‘You know, you know I love you.’