Everyone agrees that children are a blessing from the Lord. Church leaders know that having children in the church is a key sign of life and vitality; families attract families. For church planters though children can be something of a mixed blessing. You want them, but sometimes if you’re being really honest, in the beginning, in those early days, they can be something of a pain.

For example, you want to build community so you plan some meals together. But your little angels don’t play ball and instead of the great relationship building vision centred conversation and shared dreams of the advancing kingdom of God that you imagined; in reality no one quite manages to finish a sentence before someone at knee-height shouts, screams or interrupts.

Your next attempt is to plan some evening meetings because kids are asleep then but you immediately hit the babysitter problem. Inevitably someone misses out.

Finally it’s time to start Sunday morning meetings but you have 7 kids in 3 different age groups. It might be OK for the small kids but your lone 10 year old is struggling. Your children’s team is made up of half of the parents (and my bet is mostly the mums). Then as a church plant likely without your own building, any resources you need for children need keeping somewhere and as any parent will tell you, toys multiply faster than five loaves and two fishes.

In the morning meetings, figuring out what to do with the children can be a headache. Keep them in and you can kiss someone’s concentration on the Lord goodbye. Send them out and you have the slightly dispiriting sight of watching half the people leave.

I’ve had all these feelings and made all the mistakes and along the way have needed some reminding that the visionary dream I might have can be an idol. Here are three things worth remembering (let me know what you would add in the comments).

It’s not a compromise of your mission to teach children the Gospel. It is your mission

In many parts of Europe, Christianity has disappeared in the space of just a few generations. If it is to ever again affect a significant part of the population, it is absolutely crucial that Christian families raise children who are given every opportunity to love & follow Jesus. Long-term missional success requires and demands that we invest in children not just telling them Bible stories but the full Gospel. We have to let the little children come.

Make sure the children (& the parents) hear you affirm their value

“We love having kids in our church, you are a gift to your families and to us. We love that we get to tell you about Jesus, so you have the chance of knowing him for ALL your life, and that’s pretty amazing.”

Saying something like this, helps everyone be reminded that despite the inconveniences, annoyances and disruptions (and there’s no point pretending there aren’t any) there’s a big, wonderful, glorious thing going on here.

Children are a physical symbol of what you are praying for

Most new churches want to see people come to faith in Christ. To be born again, to see the new come. In other words to have spiritual children. Yet new disciples, like children, need help, love, encouragement, support, forgiveness, training & occasionally discipline.

If you want a church culture that excels in forming mature disciples of Jesus, having children in your church is an enormous help.

So for those three reasons (and plenty more) don’t grumble church planter about the kids.