I should start with a defence of the word “weirdo” in the title, but just wait until I’ve described a few of them and then tell me what word you would use to describe them. I’ve never yet met a pastor who didn’t nod knowingly if anyone ever referenced the “lunatic fringe” and as a pastor in a charismatic movement I can confirm that we’ve more than filled our quota.

I’m talking about the people who have found a unique code in the Bible and the interpretive key we’ve all been missing until now. The ones who have an infallible direct line to the Almighty or who have pushed an obscure argument to the forefront and to the exclusion of all other issues. Or those who have developed their own weird religious terminology; those who have made a particular fringe internet preacher the measuring stick on EVERYTHING and insist you agree with them on EVERYTHING and so on. I suspect there are an infinite variety of ways in which Christians can find something obscure and make it central or something odd and make it even odder.

There are a couple of characteristics that show up more often than not. Firstly, they are utterly convinced of the necessity of the idea they hold. It is what is wrong with THE CHURCH. Secondly, and as a direct consequence of the first, it is almost impossible to have anything remotely like a reasonable discussion with them about it.

A few years ago I remember having a great discussion over lunch about all sorts of kingdom things with a woman who had been visiting our church. At some point the subject came to COVID and she proffered the view that it was all a ruse from the elites at Davos to usher in a one world government. Now I happen to think that is a bonkers conspiracy theory but I did not say so to her. Instead my few questions to her about why she was SO SURE that this was the case ended our conversation. I had just demonstrated to this smart and intelligent woman that I was more than likely already deceived. The agreement we had on the 90% of other things relating to church life were wiped away and we never saw her again.

Thirdly, these kind of people, almost always struggle with practical submission to whatever kind of leadership your church happens to have. They are hypersensitive to perceived criticism and extremely defensive when asked to pipe down in even the mildest of ways.

If you’ve been in a church for any length of time in a town or city you’ll know about the Church Carousel or Church Hoppers or some such things. Well, these folk live on the carousel, they almost never end up making a home in a local church, they are always looking “for the right place” (which doesn’t exist).

Small churches, I contend, are more vulnerable to these kind of people than medium to large churches and these kind of people know it and prefer small churches. Here are three reasons why this is so and having been a pastor of a church when it was small (let’s say that’s under 50 people for sake of argument) I am talking from personal experience.

Smaller churches are often desperate for help.

It almost always comes with the territory by definition. Usually there are not quite enough people even for the small number of regular activities you have set yourself. There’s never quite enough people to fill any of the rotas and a few more “mature Christians” would make all the difference. I’ve never yet met a church planter who when asked for prayer requests hasn’t put this item higher up than say, salvation of the lost. The workers are few and so on. The problem is, we’re not always great at telling the difference between “mature” and “immature.” This is because our CW (Christian Weirdo) is not always showing their hand straight away. Often they will be keen, eager and available. The pastor is looking for help, but they are looking for influence and for that they need to get inside.

The leader of smaller churches are more accessible

In smaller churches everyone has direct and almost always unfettered access to the most senior source of authority in the church and there is more chance of influence if you can regularly bend the pastor’s ear and have their home phone number. When it finally becomes apparent to the leader that this person is a CW they will have already spent countless hours of time and energy researching some obscure theological point trying to both understand it and explain why you’re not going to adopt it, because you are a good person who cares and is still trying to be reasonable. Unfortunately your CW is neither of these things.

In a small church the whole church is easily accessible

In smaller churches there is often just one or two midweek groups or Bible studies. And there’s nothing your CW loves more than a Bible Study. In this case, no matter what you’re studying the conversation will get hijacked (and that is the right word), dominated and eventually destroyed by the CW constantly seeking to use the vehicle of the small group to advance their cause.

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In medium to large churches there are some protections against these issues: a small group is just one of many and problems in one group rarely affect other groups or infect the whole church; there are often a plurality of leaders who exercise care over the church and so any CW has a much harder job to find influence and finally there are usually more layers of involvement that grease the wheels of larger churches so anyone who volunteers to help with the PA doesn’t also somehow end up with a say on the teaching programme.

There are some simple measures that do help in guarding against unwittingly finding your time, energy and church at the mercy of a CW. Firstly, remember that there’s a reason they’re looking for a church so find out what it is and revive the habit of taking references from their last church at the very least. Any reluctance should at least make your radar ping.

Don’t let your need for help override or shortcut your membership process. It’s there for a reason and in part is to make sure you know them and they understand you – the vast majority of help comes after and not before this process of joining.

Remember that some people are not looking to serve they are looking for influence. They are more than likely frustrated that it has been denied them elsewhere and that is why they are trying and testing you.

If you’re a leader of a church guard your flock not just from the wolves but also the weirdos.