Now I’m not particularly known for being the sentimental sort but there are a few times when shedding a tear or two is appropriate and fitting. I guess if one is publicly repenting of sin and misconduct that would be appropriate but that’s not what I’m thinking of here.

I should add that since having children the tears always feel a little closer to the surface not because I’m all weepy over my kids but mostly because my brain is addled, my body is weary, my emotions are all over the place and I’m generally just shattered. As a result I’ve been surprised by how close to the surface the river really is.

Those excuses aside, I think it is a mark of a good relationship between a church and its leaders when there are tears at the parting and hopefully not in the ‘at last we’ve got rid of him and we’re so happy we could cry’ kind of way.

Instead for me there were tears because I wasn’t leaving a job, I wasn’t moving on to a new career opportunity, I wasn’t going to bigger and better things. There were tears because I was leaving friends, I was leaving family, I was leaving my church. Mine, not because I led it but because I was part of it. It was the place I belonged, the place where I found community, where I found faith, laughter, friendship and where I found iron to help bash me into shape.

In this church we went through most of what life has to offer: our wedding, the death of close family members, the birth of our children, the ups and downs of daily life. We gave together, ate together, teased each other, reached out to the community together and now we were leaving but not disappearing being sent and being sent well.

I’d be worried if a leader could deliver a final sermon unmoved by the changing of relationships or the parting of ways, I’d be concerned if someone was there so little time that those friendships were never really formed because this isn’t a profession it’s a calling, it isn’t a job (although I was paid) it was the fruit of a shared vision and goal in life: that together we could do something however small to reach some people in our neighbourhood with the wonderful news that Jesus knows them though they sin, that Jesus died for them though they are sinners and that Jesus can turn them into saints.

So I cried. Knackered, tired but unashamed.