In March 2025 I was listening to a guest speaker talk on the subject of discipleship. I can remember where I was. I was sitting in a basement room with about 30 people. I was to the left of the speaker, taking notes. As an aside he mentioned a discovery he had made, and only made it because his son had mentioned it to him. He couldn’t make mental visual images. I’d never heard or thought of such a thing and then he asked us to close our eyes and think of something. I can’t remember what, maybe it was the apples in the featured image above.
What I can remember is for the first time realizing that I can’t make mental visual images either and never, as far as I know, have. I ‘see’ my eyelids. I see black, with really fleeting images that I can’t hold on to. On the scale above, I’m mostly a 5, occasionally a 4 for a brief second and then it’s gone. This is called aphantasia. It is having something of a moment as more and more people realise that’s them (scroll down for proof of this).
One friend couldn’t get her head around this, and I explained I can’t relive memories. As someone who has had more than her fair share of trauma she said that must be nice. It is I said. The opposite is also true, I can’t relive the good things either. Oh, she said. That’s not so nice.
Some people confuse it with amnesia. I can remember perfectly fine, I just can’t see the things I remember. I could describe many things to you because I happen to know what colour trees are or sand is or the marble on the cathedral in Florence. I just can’t bring that image to mind.
I’ve no idea the significance to this. The discovery hasn’t troubled me in any way but it is always interesting to learn more about yourself and the way your mind works and the way others do. My wife, artist that she is has excellent visual imagery. Maybe she has hyperphantasia.
I don’t know that I really connect with everything this guy says but he has the coolest visual so far to show what I cannot see!
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