In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus gives numerous examples of what he means by a greater righteousness than the one offered by the Pharisees & Scribes. His third example is divorce. I guess it’s not coincidental that he comes to divorce after mentioning anger, insults & lust.

The passage in Matthew 5:31-32 really serves as a reference to the longer treatment in Matthew 19:3-12 so those passages should be read together.

But in order to properly understand Jesus on divorce you have to grasp what he says about marriage, the heads to divorce’s tails. I think we can see five key points (one taken from elsewhere in the NT) and see how Jesus’ views are at odds with western cultures.

Singleness is not worse or less than marriage

To be honest this is probably the minimum that should be said, there’s certainly a strong case to argued that it should be the other way around. Paul certainly seems to reverse it by suggesting instead that ‘marriage is not worse or less than singleness’. Our culture has a tendency to elevate romantic & sexual relationships, while the evangelical church has often elevated married relationships to such an extent that it can leave many single people feeling isolated, lonely & questioning their worth. The Bible even as it upholds marriage rejects that perspective.

Marriage is between a male and a female

Jesus points us back to creation and to God’s original intent. God made male & female together in the image of God and there is a leaving of one family in order to create the basis for a new one. A leaving of father & mother and a joining in marriage between a man and a woman. The Bible says there is a complementarity between male & female, a purpose and intent that only when they come together with each other can truly be called one flesh. And only in that union can it bear fruit with children. Marriage in the Bible’s telling is exclusively heterosexual.

But just as single people are not less loved or less welcome than married people, those with same-sex attractions are not less loved or less welcome than their opposite-sex attracted friends. But this is the teaching of the Bible; Marriage (whatever a state says) is properly between a man and a woman.

Marriage is more than cohabitation

Marriage is seen as something publicly acknowledged & binding (although not nearly as binding for men as it was for women but we’ll get to that). It was personal, it was physical and it was contractual or better yet covenantal. Promises were in effect said and this is not cohabiting, living together or in Swedish sambo.

Our relationships are not simply private matters they are also public ones. This is easy to recognise because there are laws around the division of property, the rights of decision making in medical interventions, the rights & responsibilities of care with regards to children. Even in societies like Sweden which does not particularly preference marriage sees family life not just as a private matter but a public one. But as Christians we are not merely to pattern ourselves after the laws of the land but the patterns of God, and God makes promises to His people and declares faithful love.

Sex is only for marriage

The Bible contends the only valid & right place for sex is within the boundaries of a marriage. Sex is supposed to be an image of one flesh intimacy, that mirrors God’s purpose in creation and also God’s commitment to the people He calls His bride. Sex outside of this commitment to faithfulness, trust love, honour, respect actually reduces all those things.

Some people think the phrase, one flesh can’t be referring to sex. Jennifer Greenberg for example says,

Jesus cannot be talking about sex, and he cannot think that Moses was talking about sex, because the two are not to separate. Unless we are willing to draw the ludicrous conclusion that husbands and wives are to remain in a constant state of intercourse, sex cannot be what “the two become one” or “hold fast” means.

Sex Won’t Save You

I’m not sure this is correct. Paul challenges the Corinthians with the extreme example of a man having sex with a prostitute and says ‘don’t you realise, there’s one flesh there too?’ (1 Cor 6:16). In this regard one flesh is very much more than just sex but it likely isn’t less than it either. Sex in its unique & complementary coming together of a man symbolises something greater than itself – a marriage. This joining in much more than bodies, this marriage then points us to something greater still: the union of Christ & His church.

Christians should marry Christians

This teaching is easily seen from Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:39: “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” A principle that applied to a widower almost certainly applied to everyone else when they had the choice.

This can be hard because a good (wo)man can be hard to find and a good Christian (wo)man sometimes even harder to find. There are more Christian women than men so there’s a risk in the numbers game that someone who doesn’t want to be gets or feels left out.

Summary

The Old Testament & reinforced by Paul assumes that believers should marry believers; Jesus specifically mentions marriage as between a male & female; a formal divorce implies a formal union; sex is to be expressed within this covenanted union; both Jesus & Paul reject the notion that singleness is valued less than marriage in the kingdom.

These five points form the assumptions behind Jesus’ teaching on divorce which is the main issue at hand in Matthew and which I’ll come to in the next post.